Tuesday, June 25, 2013

A Single Mom's Crazy Rantings: Faith or Fate?


fate  (ft)
n.
1.
a. The supposed force, principle, or power that predetermines events.
b. The inevitable events predestined by this force.
2. A final result or consequence; an outcome.
3. Unfavorable destiny; doom.
 
faith  (fth)
n.
1. Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.
2. Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. See Synonyms at belief or trust.
3. Loyalty to a person or thing; allegiance: keeping faith with one's supporters.
4. often Faith Christianity The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God's will.
5. The body of dogma of a religion: the Muslim faith.
6. A set of principles or beliefs.
 
June 10th, 2013
Someone asked me today if Christ was in my life. Yes, Christ as in the Lord, God, Jesus...Christ. I have never been asked this question straight forward with someone expecting an honest answer. It was very refreshing to be asked a question bluntly like that as well.
I can be very blunt and honest when I talk with people. I usually keep it wound down to a minimum when I first meet someone. It's only when I am comfortable with you that I then feel comfortable with being myself. I'm not sure exactly where this comes from (my blunt, honesty) , I'm sure it has to do with so many years of not saying anything and keeping to myself. Or so many years as a different person than who I truly was. But so far everyone I know appreciates it, thinks its hilarious and doesn't have a problem with it. I'm not one of those rude blunt people but I'm the one that will make you spit out your milk with the crazy things that can come out of my mouth....sometimes at inappropriate times. Teehehehee!
I was taken off guard with this question though and answered honestly.
"I'm not sure I guess. There are things I would love to believe in but there are other things that I don't or have a hard time believing in."
Don't get me wrong...I have nothing against any religion or religious people I have just always believed in my own values.
But believing in my own values is where the catch is. The person whom asked me this question was surprised by my answer. Surprised that with everything I've gone through, the values I have, my positive outlook and the way I live my life day to day are very similar to someone who would believe in Christ. Since then I have turned this question over and over many times in my head. Do I really believe in God or a higher power?
I find myself looking back on situations. Every time I needed something it has always worked out. Anytime I needed money, needed help, a sign, a path, a choice and hoped and yearned for an answer, a solution (someone religious might say pray) it has worked out. Every time I've needed something, every time something gives and I've been "blessed".
I blindingly believe in Karma, this I think is very similar to "The Golden Rule". I completely believe and put faith into Karma. What goes around comes around. Do good and good will come to you. Do bad and well...Karma's a b**ch. But Karma is also just a thought, an ideal. It's not something I can hold, something I can physically hold accountable. God is also not someone I can physically meet, see of touch. So is there a difference??
There's also my morals, values and how I carry myself that I can now see why someone would think I was religious.
I believe in "everything happens for a reason" but couldn't that be what a Christian would say is God's pre destine path he has laid out for me??
I believe in "Karma" or Christians "Golden Rule"
My children are a true blessing to me, a miracle from Jesus is how a Christian would see it.
I live my life and unknowingly follow the seven deadly sins; PRIDE, ENVY, GLUTTONY, ANGER, SLOTH, GREED, LUST. Not because of the wrath from the lord but because it's the right thing to live by.
But is there a line in the sand separating the two ways I see it or are they really the same?
This I don't know.
This is what I can't wrap my head around.

Is there really a difference in fate and faith. I'm not so sure anymore.
The last thing that throws me with this battle is if there came a time, hopefully never, where my children were in harms way or ill. You could bet I would do anything, bow down, pray to anyone for their health and well being.
But even with that there is still a lot to consider. Is there really someone watching over us, someone who just one day "created" us...everything. So much to think of.

One thing that can be said, I've never had anyone make me think of something more beyond what I already knew or believed in. Not forced me to think that way but actually challenge the way I though. Had me mulling it over in my own mind. It takes a special kind of crazy to make ME reconsider things ;)

Always true to myself~
Bree
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