A Single Mom's Crazy Rantings: Faith or Fate?

fate  (ft)

n.

1.

a. The supposed force, principle, or power that predetermines events.

b. The inevitable events predestined by this force.

2. A final result or consequence; an outcome.

3. Unfavorable destiny; doom.

 

faith  (fth)

n.

1. Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.

2. Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. See Synonyms at belief or trust.

3. Loyalty to a person or thing; allegiance: keeping faith with one's supporters.

4. often Faith Christianity The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God's will.

5. The body of dogma of a religion: the Muslim faith.

6. A set of principles or beliefs.

 

June 10th, 2013
Someone asked me today if Christ was in my life. Yes, Christ as in the Lord, God, Jesus...Christ. I have never been asked this question straight forward with someone expecting an honest answer. It was very refreshing to be asked a question bluntly like that as well.
I can be very blunt and honest when I talk with people. I usually keep it wound down to a minimum when I first meet someone. It's only when I am comfortable with you that I then feel comfortable with being myself. I'm not sure exactly where this comes from (my blunt, honesty) , I'm sure it has to do with so many years of not saying anything and keeping to myself. Or so many years as a different person than who I truly was. But so far everyone I know appreciates it, thinks its hilarious and doesn't have a problem with it. I'm not one of those rude blunt people but I'm the one that will make you spit out your milk with the crazy things that can come out of my mouth....sometimes at inappropriate times. Teehehehee!
I was taken off guard with this question though and answered honestly.
"I'm not sure I guess. There are things I would love to believe in but there are other things that I don't or have a hard time believing in."
Don't get me wrong...I have nothing against any religion or religious people I have just always believed in my own values.
But believing in my own values is where the catch is. The person whom asked me this question was surprised by my answer. Surprised that with everything I've gone through, the values I have, my positive outlook and the way I live my life day to day are very similar to someone who would believe in Christ. Since then I have turned this question over and over many times in my head. Do I really believe in God or a higher power?
I find myself looking back on situations. Every time I needed something it has always worked out. Anytime I needed money, needed help, a sign, a path, a choice and hoped and yearned for an answer, a solution (someone religious might say pray) it has worked out. Every time I've needed something, every time something gives and I've been "blessed".
I blindingly believe in Karma, this I think is very similar to "The Golden Rule". I completely believe and put faith into Karma. What goes around comes around. Do good and good will come to you. Do bad and well...Karma's a b**ch. But Karma is also just a thought, an ideal. It's not something I can hold, something I can physically hold accountable. God is also not someone I can physically meet, see of touch. So is there a difference??
There's also my morals, values and how I carry myself that I can now see why someone would think I was religious.
I believe in "everything happens for a reason" but couldn't that be what a Christian would say is God's pre destine path he has laid out for me??
I believe in "Karma" or Christians "Golden Rule"
My children are a true blessing to me, a miracle from Jesus is how a Christian would see it.
I live my life and unknowingly follow the seven deadly sins; PRIDE, ENVY, GLUTTONY, ANGER, SLOTH, GREED, LUST. Not because of the wrath from the lord but because it's the right thing to live by.
But is there a line in the sand separating the two ways I see it or are they really the same?
This I don't know.
This is what I can't wrap my head around.

Is there really a difference in fate and faith. I'm not so sure anymore.
The last thing that throws me with this battle is if there came a time, hopefully never, where my children were in harms way or ill. You could bet I would do anything, bow down, pray to anyone for their health and well being.
But even with that there is still a lot to consider. Is there really someone watching over us, someone who just one day "created" us...everything. So much to think of.

One thing that can be said, I've never had anyone make me think of something more beyond what I already knew or believed in. Not forced me to think that way but actually challenge the way I though. Had me mulling it over in my own mind. It takes a special kind of crazy to make ME reconsider things ;)

Always true to myself~
Bree

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A Single Mom's Crazy Ranting's: Never a bad day?

June 5th, 2013

I received this message today...

 

"I am shocked and in awe of you... Everytime I see you, you are smiling and cheerful.... I would have never guessed the things you have gone thru, or your challenges."

 

This was only part of the message I received. Along with this there have been a many other people that see me on a regular basis and ask me what my secret is to always smiling, always laughing and always being in a good mood. I didn't even realize until later that I really never...no I never have a bad day. The last bad day I had was almost a year ago.

 

July 30th, 2012

I stood in my best friends hall when I got a text message from my husband. He wanted to make sure we didn't have plans in a few weekends so he, alone, could go to a concert. Wait...what?!?!? And that's when everything shifted, fit into place and I knew. Instantly the phone was ringing and he picked up. The questioning started immediately. The only one that mattered was who else was going to this concert. Time after time I asked who, each time getting more desperate, each time loosing it more and more. Each time he lied. Over and over. I was with my husband for over 8 years, I now him...I knew him. I knew he would never go to a concert by himself. And I knew what was going on, I just needed to hear it.

The desperation might have finally broke him down or maybe it was the tears he could hear rolling down my face. But he finally broke and like a damn everything came spilling out. Every question I asked he answered instantly.

He was going to the concert with a friend from work. Female friend. Whom he'd also gone to the movies with. I start tallying how often he's gone to the movies by "himself", when he started going to the movies by himself. He goes on and on, answers all the rest of my questions. Then I get mad.

Katie shoes the kids outside, I am probably raising my voice now. I tell him to get what he needs and get the fuck out. I give him a time limit, "make sure your not home". The craziest thing that still boggles my mind was his desperate need to explain himself. "Calm down Bree, let me explain" I remember the power behind my voice when I replied, "DON'T tell me to calm down" I don't give a shit if she is the love of your life...look what you have done. The un-mendable damage you just caused. As a human being, as a man you leave first. That was the first and the last time I ever raised my voice to him.

I hang up the phone and sob into Katie's shoulder.

 

Today, June 18th, 2013

Maybe my mind is different than others. Maybe theres a part of my brain that doesn't function right or maybe I have some sort of awful tumor that makes me oblivious to the effects of the bad, negative things that life throws you. Either or anyway I am happy, truly and honestly happy ALL the time. Why? Here's how I see it...there are SO many people with SO many much more worse things, situations, than mine that in comparison my life, my complaints, my problems are nothing and worthless. How can I complain when things could always be SO much more worse.

I'll give 2 examples, 2 beautiful but heart breaking story's, both real and true.

 

First Story, June 2012

My sister in law went into the hospital, pregnant and sick. Hours later they were delivering her very young and very tiny beautiful preemie baby boy into a hospital not equipped to handle him. They had to call code blue on him and his little life was not so bright. They revived him and rushed him to Mary Bridge where he stayed for months and months with many more challenges to follow.

November 2012 (5 months later)

My nephew has now been home barely a month. My sister in law was admitted into the hospital. She had become very ill. No one knew what was happening.

Early January 2012

She is finally diagnosed with a terminal cancer, possibly treatable but incurable. And very rare. She is then admitted into UW Medical Center for treatment.

January 17th 2012 (weeks later)

Her husband was hit head on in a fetal accident. He survived but the other driver did not. The accident crushed his entire left leg among many other possible life threatening injuries. He was rushed to harbor view where he stayed for weeks, then to a rehab facility where he stayed for months. Both in different hospitals with a preemie baby boy and their other teenage son at home.

 

Second Story is more a short video to watch. I cry every time I watch it and I watch it whenever I need to be reminded of what gift my life really has been even with all my struggles. A few things before you watch it.

This is a young woman whom was forced to make a very strong and saddening choice, her mother the week before shaved her head in support. She has a daughter, a husband and has always wanted more children...but will never be able to.

 

These are just two stories that come to mind. There are plenty like them, some worse with not so happy or even tragic endings. So is your day now really as bad as you thought? Mine never are :)

 

Blissfully Happy with never a bad day~

Bree =D

 





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A Single Mom's Crazy Ranting's: The 1st Function

 Attention...Attention!!!

We now have a preschool graduate and upcoming

Kindergartner in the house!!!!

June 7th was a GREAT day!!! My oldest son Bradley sat amongst his class mates and graciously accepted his preschool diploma. Though this was a wonderful day there were also a lot of nerves in the air.
I had asked their father a few weeks prior if we could sit near each other for the benefit of the kids. Of coarse this is awkward for all but I wanted the least effect possible on the kids. How confusing for them to have to go from one end of the room/area to the other. And how unfair for the one parent left childless missing out on the joys of the evening.
My request was not taken..."well" and (with no emotion) I just asked him to think it over. To my surprise or maybe it was just coincidence we arrived and my one set of grandparents were already sitting next to the ex-in laws.
The graduation ceremony was short, sweet, and windy! Caps were flying everywhere and 5 year olds were laughing hysterically :)

Being our first event as a divorced couple (not sure how to phrase that) I would say it went exceptionally. There was one awkward moment for me while standing in the food line. The kids decided to go stand with their father, whom was ahead of me, leaving me standing alone. The funniest thing was I soon realized, while standing alone, that I wasn't even going to get food but was standing their to help dish the kids up. So I left him to dish up all 3 kids (no easy feat) while I went back to socialize with my family and friends. I never would have got the help before so I thought it was very poetic. LOL.

 

Soon all of the family left and it was sweetly just my kids and I enjoying their friends and  activities after the graduation picnic. This is where I learned another life lesson...Never again participate in a pie eating contest :)...unless its GOOD pie ;)

 

The best part of the evening was having friends come up to me and comment at how amazed they were at how composed and at ease I was while dealing with the ex's. Most of them don't know the exact situation but its funny how a lot of people don't need to KNOW to guess correctly. Though I try my hardest everyday it's these moments and kind words that I cling to and cherish the most.

 

My childhood wasn't by any means perfect nor was it awful in comparison to others it still prepared me for being a great single mother. I love my mom dearly and the craziest thing is through out her defeats, loses, and broken down times is where I have learned the most. Sometimes the best example is learned the hardest way. She will never know that with all her hard times, failures and mistakes the silver lining was in the lessons I learned from watching her.

I'm trying to be better than "good enough" :)

(Don't you love my middles winter gloves in this great family pic! LOL!)

 

 

You make life what you want, no one else is writing your story~

Bree <3

 

Click here to view the last installments of "A Single Moms Crazy Ranting's!!

Selfish 101

Memorial Day 2012

 



 

 

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A Single Moms Crazy Ranting's: Selfish 101

Selfish 101

Sept 8th, 2012:
     Ran my first "Mud Run" and had a blast! Christa and I didn't get as muddy as I wanted but we still had fun! On our way home they started talking about their plans later that night and I realized that yet again I would have no kids, no plans and be alone.
     Soon they invited my pathetic ass to dinner with their family, not awkward at all right?!?!?! LOL. To make it even worse dinner ended up being for Christa's brother in law...Chris. The same Chris her husband and her wanted to hook me up with a month before. We didn't speak much during dinner but later that night he ended up canceling his plans and coming over to Christa's house to hang out.

The next 9 months:
     Were amazing. Never would I think that any man would want to be with a woman who had 3 young children and treat them as his own. He has been the sweetest, nicest, most wonderful man. He bought Bradley baseball gear just cause and practiced with us over and over to help teach him the rules of the game. Stayed up late building Braeden's birthday present with the boys. Comforted my daughter when she would get hurt or tuck her sweetly into bed. On Mother's Day the kids and him cleaned my car, garage and house as a surprise. He's been supportive of any decision I've ever needed to make and there for me for whatever I've ever needed. He is so right for me and the kids in every way. That's why making the choice to leave him was the hardest thing I've had to do so far.

June 3rd, 2013:
     I fell in love with this man, more so than anyone before. I have never felt this type of love. But I found myself needing to be alone. Somewhere along the way I lost myself again. My life can be very overwhelming, busy and stressful. I manage it very well but it has become almost too much. This past week I realized somewhere along the way I stopped learning about myself, taking time for myself and starting pouring myself into everyone else instead of focusing on me. This was a bad habit I had from my failed marriage. During that time I did things, liked things and agreed to things that my ex husband had. After we split I didn't know what I liked to do, what I liked to eat or what I did for fun. I was just an empty shell.
     I slowly started to learn things that "I" liked. Started to become comfortable with the person "I" wanted to be. All the mattered was my children and I. No distractions. I was lonely but I was starting to become happy again. Happy with myself and happy with how my story had turned out so far. For a long while after Chris and I started dating I was still able to do this but somewhere, something in me fell back into step and yet again I lost myself.
     Losing myself scares me. And I realized that to be happy in any relationship I had to be happy and aware of who I was first and foremost. So regrettably I took a step back from Chris. Of coarse being the wonderful man he is he was supportive, encouraging and understanding. He was always the first to say I needed to take time for myself but I never realized how right he was. Though with him being understanding and supportive of my decision it made my choice so much worse. Am I possibly going to loose someone so great for me? And the kids? Makes me question and doubt everything. But I am at peace with my choice, no matter how hard it has been. Being alone, with no distractions will be good, I want to find myself and get to know who I am meant to be. Sometimes being selfish is a good thing.
I do miss you already Chris :( Thank you for all our wonderful memories and times shared with the kids and I. It takes a GOOD man to take on a woman with kids but also a GOOD man to let you go so you can take the journey your meant to take.
"Everything happens for a reason"....can be so hard to believe in at times.

Xoxo Chris
~Bree Pin It

Single Mom's Crazy Rantings: Memorial Day 2012

Memorial Day 2012:
     I found myself moving into a house I knew I was not going to make a home. Two weeks prior to the big move date my husband at the time said to me that he didn't know if I WOULD be moving in. Our lease was up at our apartment, I had 3 young children and I stay home with them. I have no money and not a lot of family. Normally the feelings that run through you on a moving day is excitement, exhaustion, frustration and visions of the home you can't wait to make yours. All I felt was fear. Should I be thankful for being "aloud" to move in? Appreciative? I wore a mask the whole day, spread a fake smile across my face and held back the tears. I know this will end, then where will we live?

Two weeks before Memorial Day 2012:
     Yet again, my husband doesn't talk to us, he slept on the couch again and who knows when he left for work. I pulled up, shaking, to talk with my mom. She has no idea what's been going on...
HA...fuck I have no idea whats been going on.
The tears come before the words tumble out of my mouth. I tell her about how bad things have been, how I just brushed it off for so long, about how he just came home one day a different man, about how on Mother's Day he told me he no longer loved me and about how we have no place to live in a few weeks.
"Can we, if I need to, move in with you?"
I hate asking for help, never do it, and it killed me to ask.
Of coarse she was in shock in tears and supported me with whatever I needed to do.

Memorial Day 2013:
     I find myself happy, full of life, smiling and laughing CONSTANTLY! The kids and I live in a tiny above the garage mother-in-law apartment, we have a huge yard, live out of town in a peaceful environment. Things are not easy, there are many times I feel defeated and scared. I work 7 days a week and try to run a photography business on the side. None of the hard times matter though when I look at how far we have come.
     "A Single Mom's Crazy Rantings" is me and my life.(I like to talk a lot, lol) I had to step away from the blog for a bit because when you only have a few moments to spare I needed to take those moments with my kids and for myself. I still talk with a lot of mom's fighting to save their marriages, have lost their marriages in the daily life struggles and mom's that are just on their owns in hopes that one piece of my experience can help them in theirs. Though people tell me all the time I inspire them or they look up to me, it shocks me to know that my little life can help someone else's. That's the real purpose of this blog installment. And speaking of inspiring people, it was another mom that got me inspired me to pick the blog up and write more. Thank you Jamie <3
     Feel free to follow the segment or any other part of our blog. I'll be writing this as a diary installment dating back sometimes as needed.

With Love and Laughs~ Bree :)
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A Single Mom's Crazy Rantings: How do you do it?

It has now been just over 6 months since I've been an "official" single mom to my 3 crazy-lovable kiddos. Day in and day out there are obstacles, challenges, rewards and difficulty.

 

The most popular question I get is "How do you do it?"

Sadly more often than not the person asking this question is asking for advice. I find that my advice is asked most frequently by a number of woman whom are wanting to leave their husband or significant other for one reason or another.

 

It's not my job, nor is it my business, to judge another's  marriage but I am more than happy to give my advice, help, understanding, acknowledgment or encouragement.

 

So "How do I do it?"

I don't.

 

What people see:

I was a stay at home mom until a month after I asked my husband to leave. I have a part time job and live on my own with the kids. Most of all they see that I'm happy :)

Most people see what they want to see. They look at me and see a single woman making it with her 3 kids even through divorce.

 

Here's the truth:

I desperately want to be a stay at home mom for my children so I work a part time job night and weekends. I do this so during the day I'm home with them doing our normal routines. Breakfast, chores, lunch, preschool, sports/activities, dinner, etc. Half the time I leave before dinner to go to work. This means someone else reads them a bed time story, tucks them in and sends them off to sleep. I usually work until 10:30pm, pick up kids and come home. I then stay up until midnight or 1 am working (for no or little money) on my photography or the blog. Even on days I don't work I'm still up until midnight "working".

Then its up at 7:30am and we start all over again. Since the blog and photography don't pull in huge pay checks (yet) I also frequently nanny a couple other kids here and thereto make ends meet. My house is usually messy because there isn't enough time to do anything and when given an opportunity to have a minute to myself I take it instead of doing dishes.

I didn't get much help before, but when your a single mom you get NO help. Each day its you and the kids, there's no more spouse giving you a break when he's home from work. Its only you. There are mandatory breaks every other weekend and possibly a few hours once a week. That's 4 days a month I get a break and even then I try to work as much as I can because there's no childcare costs.

 

For 3 kids I get just over $600 a month, my part time job brings an average of $400. These are the only consistent incomes I can count on. The kids and I get medical and food assistance from the state, which takes the food costs out of the equation. Rent and power average to about $600 a month. Which then leaves me with $400 a month to pay for diapers, wipes, gas, preschool, childcare, toiletries, non food groceries (garbage bags, dish/laundry soap, paper towels, etc), sports/activities, clothes for the kids if needed and other bills (phone, car ins, my medical expenses, debt, etc) Does $400 a month cover these items? NO.

I pick and choose what bills I can pay each month. Or I make smaller payments when I can't afford the full payment.

Some months I don't have enough for the basics. When this happens I have been very fortunate that I'll have a photo shoot, nanny and the extra money comes in somehow.

Living like this might have been fine when your single but not when you have 3 children to support.

 

Another factor that you have to keep in mind is the constant battling over the littlest things with your ex spouse. Childcare, support, expenses, family, cars, debt, kids, jealousy, diapers, etc. You name it and there could be an argument. I choose to disengage or not argue because I hate confrontation.SO I choose to take the higher road and don't lower myself to the argument. If its pertaining to the divorce case at hand then I let the attorney handle it. If its an argument relating to personal issues I don't give it the time of day. Though its hard to not argue back and forth this has been my biggest accomplishment thus far.

 

Then there is the fact of paying for an attorney for my divorce. I don't, I have been borrowing money from family (thankfully for them). Who knows how I'll ever pay that back. SO far the average total for the attorney has been close to $4,000.00 and the divorce isn't even final yet.

 

I have come to realize I can't go much longer than like this.

For over a month now I have been either looking for a second part time job or a full time job. The only difficulties with this are to be able to afford my portion of childcare for 3 kids I have to get a full time job that pays a minimum of $11/hour after taxes. And in this economy there really aren't many options available, and if a position opens up your trying to claw your resume through the competition. This will also means that my "dream job" of being a stay at home mom for my kids is soon over. I'll drop them off at day care so someone else can raise my children then pick them up with just enough time to feed them dinner and tuck them into bed. I'll be like most other working moms where you only get to see your kids a few hours a day. I'm not wanting pity, tons of people do it, but when you have made sacrifices in your life to stay home with your children it just makes it a hard situation to swallow.

 

With today's economy, money seems to be the most important thing in peoples lives. They seem to think that if you don't have money your not happy. This usually is reflected on a marriage. Sometimes this isn't the case and there are other reasons for divorce.

Unfortunately most couples think that divorce is the answer or that the grass would be greener on the other side. This is NOT always the case. And in today's society divorce seems just as disposable as taking out the trash.

While my life is happier now I tried everything first. I believe its your duty to try everything possible before walking away. I tried to make things work, went through marriage counseling but in the end infidelity was where I drew the line. You will not always be happy in a marriage but you made a vow and I feel that you should try everything to uphold those vows.

In the end trying everything may not work or may not be for you. But making the decision to get divorced or spilt up your family isn't something that just pops into your head one day. It's something that needs to be thought about, processed and talked about before any decisions are made.

 

My life is what it is. Its a struggle everyday. But I still seem to stay positive, have a great outlook on life and believe everything happens for a reason. We'll make it somehow and I can't worry about tomorrow when I'm living today. :)

 

SO, "how do I do it?"

I don't! But I'm trying.

 

{Looking for a job ~Bree and J}

 

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Don't take you tub for granted!

I have reached a new low!

I couldn't handle it anymore!

Yes...if you didn't already guess (lol)...

I attempted to take a bath in our stall shower...

Yes, You heard me!

 

Where the kids and I moved there is only one bathroom, no biggy, but NO bath tub/shower. It's just the stall! This has had its own challenges as far as "baths" for the kids but thankfully they were already used to taking showers before we moved. Plus usually the shower is easier all around!

BUT...no more relaxing baths for momma :( I thoroughly enjoy taking a nice, hot, relaxing, bubble bath with a book and a glass of wine and sitting there until the water gets cold. The last time I took a bath was over 11 months now. Before that I took one at least once a week (if kids aloud)

I finally broke down, plugged the drain in our 4 inch deep stall shower, dumped bubble bath in and let the shower run. My results were actually surprisingly relaxing! :) Funny how when determined you can make things work out of nothing!

{Don't take you tub for granted! ~Bree and J}
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New Addition

{A Single Moms Crazy Ranting's}

 

We all know Bree talks...and talks a lot she can do! Usually her ramblings are filed under "Bree's Crazy Ranting's"...until now!

(so cheesy)

With a shocking amount of women asking me "how I do it?" I have decided to dedicate a new label or column you might say on my experiences as I go through life.

Have no clue what's going on, now that I'm not talking in 3rd person any more here is a brief run down...for fun lets go back to 3rd person! LOL!
 

2004 Bree meets Boy

2007 Boy and Bree buy a house

2007 Happily welcomes Baby Boy

2008 Wedding bells ring!

2010 Happily welcome another Baby Boy (screaming)

 

2011:

Boy and Bree Short Sell their home

Move into tiny 2 bedroom apartment

Welcome Precious Baby Girl

 

2012:
March 
Boy starts sleeping on couch

April
Packing to move into new, 3 bedroom!, HOME :)

May
Boy tells Bree "I don't love you anymore" :'(

June
Moved into new home :'( start marriage counseling

 

July 2012:

Boy takes off wedding ring

Celebrate Precious Baby Girls 1st Birthday

Bree takes off wedding ring

Bree finds out about Boy's new girlfriend

Bree kicks Boy out

 

Aug 2012-Current

Divorce papers, tears, kids and I move out, attorneys, tears, court, going back to work, child support, arguing, kids to Boys every other weekend, and too much bull#*$%!

Caught up??

Feel free to follow me as I go on about my daily struggles, accomplishments, battles and more!

 

I'm not trying to do this as a means at getting back or trash talking  Boy; and have always tried to stay above the battles and be respectful.

This is meant to help those women thinking of divorce/going through it/and have been there. These are my experiences and even though every one has their own turns and bumps in the road the process is still about the same!
At the end of the day if you'd rather not read this than don't. I will never again let anyone control how I act, what I say or what I do with my life...so this is very real, very honest and very raw.

Here are a few postings that will also catch you up:
Back to my routine...I guess...
"How are you doing?"
Mondays are for Complainers
You Smell Like Taco's Mommy
My Facebook is Not Your DRAMA
and CARRY on Bree

 

 {Much LOVE ~Bree and J}

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Farmhouse Sisters is on the MAP!!!

Thats right! We are now popular enough to get SPAM! And man let me tell you how interesting these comments are and the places they originate from. Let me share some with you...

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Have a fantabulous day~
Bree and J Pin It

Oldie but Goodie...Photos

1993 called, it wants it's scruchie back.  I am still friends with some people who knew me back then, how you let me walk the halls like that?! and YOU call yourself a friend!!

I actually really liked my red dress with it's puffy sleeves and the deep V collar with the lace applique.  The faux mullet hair-do however was unfortunate, thanks mom! ;)

The only known picture where all four members of my family are present.  My brother is in a infant carrier on my dad (yes, nearly invisible .. lucky for us he WAS able to breath in that contraption they called a "baby carriers" back then) and we got to sled down the hill with a plastic garbage bag.  We had been camping but I often had the crazy un-tamed hair on regular days as well.

The only proof that I once was a member of the drill/dance team in high school during the winter sport season of 1995.  You can still get those tights in that color that make you look like you have oiled your sunburn...slick, shiny...ooooohhh yeah! ;)

Here I was a peasant girl in a dance recital.  Somewhere there are more awesome outdoor shots that were taken in my backyard...of me frolicking through the meadows collecting flowers...over the river and through the woods to grandmothers house I go! COL!

Oldie but goodie memories~

Jessi and B

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Favorite Posts: Bree's

You might want to read it before you read my explanation as to why this is my favorite. You might be surprised to know why it is my favorite...
Bree's Favorite Post: Back to my routine...I guess...

It may seem odd that the post that exposes all my broken pieces to my life is my favorite but it's not my favorite for any happy reason. Not because it was a good memory, true to me, enjoyable, or a favorite thing to do on the weekend.
It's my favorite because this was the first moment I unleashed the truth, no matter who wanted to believe it or not and no matter what consequences came my way. It was what I wanted to do and the decision to post it was all MINE.
It's different to tell your close friends and family your skeletons because if they're your true friends they will always understand.
This moment was the first moment of my true independence. Looking back there were alot of things not right, alot of controlling and unhappiness. In this moment of telling literally the entire world wide web of my heart break I felt I had cut the strings and was finally able to breathe fresh clean air.
I knew by posting that or posting anything would always come with strings attached, drama caused and gossip spread but none of it bothers me anymore...really hasn't from day one. It is very sad people, even at an elevated age, that people still talk that talk but Karma always comes around and the truth always comes out.
The day I posted that was the first day to my new beginnings. My fresh start. The first day to getting back to me and who I want to be and not what someone else wanted me to be. I learn everyday new things about myself and will never let anything get in my way to being who I really am. I'm not sure when the last time I was happy in my life...I always thought i was but would have never really admitted I wasn't.
Though my road has had many bumps, tears and stress along the road I am always reminded of my right choices. I will always and never change my outlook on life:
Everything happens for a reason and always find the positive in a situation.

Enough of Bree's Blah, blah, blah....lets get back to crafts, DIY and all sorts of fun things~
(don't worry...I will always share too much...stay tuned!)~
Bree and J Pin It

Favorite Posts: Jessi's

Jessi's Favorite Blog Post:
To view the entire post follow this link: Nothing much and my latest stalker dream
Why is this her favorite?? Because its the one most true to who she is. In fact, I'm going to break her dream down by each paragraph (red text is from my point of view, lol)

Dream Paragraph #1:
I did have an amazing dream about the mother of all thrift stores. 
(she is utterly and totally obsessed she'll even hide sometimes when she goes to goodwill...like I'll think she is nuts but I get irritated cause I got left out!) It's one of my favorite recurring dreams, where all the freeways I've driven become one and brings me to what I think is the old look of the South Center Mall but in my dream we call it the Sea-Tac Mall (These are 2 very different and far from each other). (ok, now thats just pure craziness right there) And in the same parking lot (weird I know) is the "Giant Thrift Store".  There's no name on the building but you know what it is.  Warehouses full of furniture and housewares. (no name huh Jess...sounds like a underground black market for thrifts) There's even one for clothing but I usually skip looking for clothes but the stairs for the furniture department are there.

Dream Paragraph #2
In last night's version, I was actually there with the Petersiks from YHL and I was star-struck. (she has stalker tendencies with YHL (young house love) its a blog, she would seriously stampede babies to get to see these people, lmao!!!) I think they are the bees knees! (dork) We rode there on an old school bus (she has this paranoia of being late for the bus and/or missing it...dated from early childhood..something we both share in common...prob cause we ARE always late to everything), John (dude from YHL) was driving and Dave was wondering where we where going but I knew as soon as we took the exit off the freeway.  I remember being bummed that we had gotten Evie a babysitter because Sherry and John had their adorable daughter with them and the girls would have played so well together. (notice how I'M NOT included in this dream...fine have a playdate with your imaginary people, col) Dave opted to wait in the bus as he hates thrift stores and garage sales lol.

Dream Paragraph #3
I find so many amazing things when I'm "there"!  One of the good finds towards the end of the dream was an octagon leather tufted ottoman that needed some work.  They wanted $100 for it!  It was big but falling apart and I was so mad that they wanted so much for it! (good girl Jess!, that IS outrageous, I never would have paid $100 for that, though it was to die for...like I was there ;))  I actually threw it down and shouted that I was "sick of people charging so much for garbage!" and then woke up to the alarm clock.  Crazy! :)  Aren't dreams wonderful?  I would never throw furniture in real life or shout out the injustice of high priced used/broken furniture in public but it's obvious what my brain thinks of the whole thing lol. (What do I think...that you need to find that octagon leather tufted ottoman...for sure! And even better we need to find this awesome thrift store..I'm in need (not really) of some junk I don't yet know I need!)

Yet again my mind reading skills are awesome~
Bree and J

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Oldie but Goodie...PHOTOS

WHOOOOOAAAAA........Bahahahahaaaa!!!!

Look what I found while packing...

Happy 1st Birthday Bree!!!

My mom thought it was a "genius" idea to blow out my hair...the brush it after it was dry.
YA...damn straight I can rock a fro!
*sigh* I still love you mom even though I HAVE NO clue what you were THINKING!!!

My mom and I!
Too bad Brooklyn was too big for that swim suit! LOL

I would LOVE to do a reenactment of this shot...20 year later! Find me some heart shades and we're ON!

"Whaahoooo...I'm SO AWESOME!"

And then they grow up...

Now to find some of Jess, BAHhahhaha~

Bree and J

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"KEY" Problem

Bree's Work Area...well the computer work area...;)

To the far left is of coarse my coffee...you won't find me without coffee!!! Then is my older but new to me computer that has editing software and the burning capabilities for my photography. This computer though has a security/internet connection pronblem that I need to have my "sister wife's" husband fix ;) And all the way to the  right is my trusty old side kick. With the editing software I'm comfortable with and my internet connection.

As you can see my keyboard is missing a few "key" components. LOL. Thanks to my beautiful children!

The one main problem I was having, was my fingers were starting to get raw from hitting the nonexistent "I" and "O"....do you know how many times when typing you need to type those letters!?!?!  

So I followed the advice of a friend of mine and took some not so common letters and replaced the "I" and "O" with them! 

GENIUS!

 Removed my "V"

I also had to take off the little rubber stopper off from where "V" was and place it in the new "I" letter spot. This rubber stopper pushes the key back up after typing on it.

Push the letter down, somewhat hard.

AND whalla! 

I now have and "I" and "O" key! Replaced with a "Z" and "V".

Ya,I know my simple "key" problem post is dumb but I was uninspired and exhausted, lol~

Bree and J

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Rockin' Pandora

If you come over to my house I'm usually always rockin' (not really...my phone has horrible sound quality when you crank it...plus I don't want to blow the speakers, lol) whoa...ok got off track there. So I have Pandora playing 247 at my house. I listen to basically everything  Classical, country, rock, jazz, rap, etc. I do have my favorites depending on mood, child appropriate, activity  etc. If you don't listen to Pandora your cuuuurrrrraaaazzzy! ;-p 
I am also super stoked because I bought a cord-thingy (not really what its called, baaahahaa) to get Pandora from my phone to play over the speakers! YEEEEYaaaaya! Anywho, don't have Pandora??? GET IT!
Here are my favorite station's and songs on them. Enjoy! (lots of videos prepare yourself! LOL)

Most Played Station: Coldplay
Artists included on this station: John Mayer, Jason Mraz, Jack Johnson, Red Hot Chilli Peppers (my fav ALL time band)
Favorite Song on the station right now: Gravity by John Mayer

Working my a** off or just want to ROCK out station: Limp Bizkit

Other Artists on this station: Linkin Park, Kid Rock, Rob Zombie, Saliva, P.O.D., Korn

I have MANY favorites on this station. Here are my top 3...SO hard to choose : 

Boiler by Limp Bizkit

(music video is a little...odd..be prepared, lol!)

American Bad Ass by Kid Rock

(again...I choose to add the uncensored version so here's your warning...language ahead LOL)

Boom by P.O.D.

When I'm in a funky/fun kind or mood and all the others have disappointed me station (lol): Black Eyed Peas

Other Artists on this station: Gwen Stefani, Usher, Fergie, Pitbull, Lady Gaga, Timberland

Favorite Song on this station right now: The Only Exception by Paramore

When I want a good beat and (2nd favorite) station: Mike Posner
Other Artists played on this station: 50 Cent, Lloyd Banks, Maroon 5, Jay Z, Cher Lloyd
Favorite Song on this station: You Think Your Cooler Than Me by Mike Posner

When I wanna get back to my roots and be a country girl...more like red neck girl station ;): Carrie Underwood
Other Artists on this station: Hunter Hayes, Tim McGraw, Shania Twain, Brad Paisley
Not really my favorite song on the station but HOW FUN WOULD THIS BE LADIES!!!! LMFAO!!!!
Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood

When I'm feeling or want to feel "sexy" LOL station: Beyonce
Other Artists Included: Justin Timberlake, Ciara, Alicia Keys, Destiny's Child, Rihanna
Favorite Song on this Station (its a tie) :
Un-Thinkable by Alicia Keys

Or

Go Girl by Ciara 

Rock ON~

Bree and J

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