I guess I never thought of this until a few days ago.
Or maybe it didn't really SINK in... especially in other peoples point of views.
I am a single mom.
I am a single mom of 3 little kids.
I was blind sided one day when my husband came home and told me he didn't love me and then again months later when I found out anther woman was involved.
I was pissed....PISSED is and understatement, disgusted, sad, depressed, hurt, broken, mad, mad, MAD, pitied, self conscious, sick, tearful, but most of all.....SCARED.
Instead of making the choice to accept what happen and let it shape my life into someone elses future, to let someone else know they could treat me like something disposable, unrespected, and a tool instead of your life long partner, you love, I choose to leave. Well actually I told him to leave.
Some may think making the choice to leave and not fight, for my family and kids, is a cowards way out or an easy way out. An easy way to walk away. I disagree.
I did fight and was fighting. Doing counseling every week for months. How hard do you think it is to do couples counselling alone...and the worst part was my husband WAS there.
You think its easy to ask your husband, partner and the father of your 3 children of almost 8 years to leave. Your soul source of income for your kids to divorce you? I'd say I was pretty damn sure when I told him to leave it was not going to be the easy choice for me.
I now have to move my kids and I out of our home I shared with my husband, I had to buy another car, and I've had to pay for all of my divorce proceedings with the little money I have. I do photography on the side for barely tips and since I was a stay at home mom for 5 years have no income for work history t use for any type of loan or rental agreement.
I was forced to figure out how I can still be a stay at home mom and provide for us financially. Which lead me to start getting resourceful and find a part time job at Taco Time evenings and weekends. Something that at 27 wasn't in my "dreams of dreams" to do. But it's the only flexible, secure, friendly place to work that's also close to home. I also baby sit, co run the blog, do photography on the side, while also manage to cook, clean the house, raise my 3 kids, take them to sports and activities, school, workout, and get any sanity for myself while then throwing in my new part time job.
I'd say I'm NOT taking the easy way out.
Difficult right!?!?!? LOL But what makes things better is I have an amazing set of friends who help watch my kids for CHEAP! My small family being there when they can. And my kids whom at the end of a long day can always cheer me up and make me laugh. And I know when I read them a story, snuggle, hug and kiss them goodnight and tuck them int bed that all this was and is worth it, all this busting my ass is worth every second of every difficult time I go through. I may not be following my fairy tale anymore but I sure as hell will make sure they have an opportunity to still have one.
After my second day of work I came home and was greeted by my oldest son who wanted to stay up to say goodnight to me. But instead of goodnight it was "Mommy....you smell like Taco's"
Baaahahhahahahahahahahaaaaaa!
I couldn't stop laughing after that. Yes, hunny. Mommy does. Thank you little man for making it all worth it! I love you!!
Bree's RULES on MEN:
Before I ever got married I promised myself a few things.
1. I promised to refuse to ever let a man cheat on me and take him back. My life experiences from early childhood on this: If a man cheats on a woman AND she takes him back, he will forever know he can do that and she'll always forgive him. It sets a tone for the rest of the relationship. And they always do it again. All the times I've seen this happen, no matter how great you thought the guy was...my theory has always proved to be right.
I also refuse to be turned into THAT woman who never trusts her husband again, who looks through emails and phone records. Who stays up worry if he really is where he says he is. I am and will never be THAT woman.
The choice I see that you have....leave first before you cheat.
(Ironic thing about this rule is my husband ALWAYS completely agreed and would tell me that he WOULD NEVER....EVER!) (Maybe lieing should be a rule too, lol)
2. If I ever were to get married I would do ANYTHING it took to save my marriage. Especially if children were involved. The last hope being to do counseling. As a child of divorce I made this promise at an early age.
3. No excuse and no explanation....you hit me or my kids or do anything to my kids...I know something that can hit harder...its called my gun!
Don't worry...if I'm going to see you after work I'll make sure to shower first OR bring taco's so I don't make you hungry for them, LMAO~
Bree and J
Pin It
Just two busy Moms trying to keep it together by sharing all the things we know through tutorials, inspiration, and good ol' times with kids.
I like your post and I think I need to incorporate your rules :) You are so right - i have seen it more than once in my to major relationships - cheat, take back and cheat again. I think it is just in some peoples makeup - it is just a thrill feeling they may get caught and they always do and/or they are just missing somthing in their life that they just can't bring to their spouse to tell them they are missing. But they must have not given something themselves to make their spouse push them away so the road goes both ways.
ReplyDeleteYou are the product of your mom - strong, indepentent and all about your kids. You will come out of this like a beautiful rose that you are a rose beause you will still be gaurded with thorns to protect you and your kids but still beautiful and delicate when you want to be :).
I love you so much. MOM