A Single Mom's Crazy Rantings: Faith or Fate?

fate  (ft)

n.

1.

a. The supposed force, principle, or power that predetermines events.

b. The inevitable events predestined by this force.

2. A final result or consequence; an outcome.

3. Unfavorable destiny; doom.

 

faith  (fth)

n.

1. Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.

2. Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. See Synonyms at belief or trust.

3. Loyalty to a person or thing; allegiance: keeping faith with one's supporters.

4. often Faith Christianity The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God's will.

5. The body of dogma of a religion: the Muslim faith.

6. A set of principles or beliefs.

 

June 10th, 2013
Someone asked me today if Christ was in my life. Yes, Christ as in the Lord, God, Jesus...Christ. I have never been asked this question straight forward with someone expecting an honest answer. It was very refreshing to be asked a question bluntly like that as well.
I can be very blunt and honest when I talk with people. I usually keep it wound down to a minimum when I first meet someone. It's only when I am comfortable with you that I then feel comfortable with being myself. I'm not sure exactly where this comes from (my blunt, honesty) , I'm sure it has to do with so many years of not saying anything and keeping to myself. Or so many years as a different person than who I truly was. But so far everyone I know appreciates it, thinks its hilarious and doesn't have a problem with it. I'm not one of those rude blunt people but I'm the one that will make you spit out your milk with the crazy things that can come out of my mouth....sometimes at inappropriate times. Teehehehee!
I was taken off guard with this question though and answered honestly.
"I'm not sure I guess. There are things I would love to believe in but there are other things that I don't or have a hard time believing in."
Don't get me wrong...I have nothing against any religion or religious people I have just always believed in my own values.
But believing in my own values is where the catch is. The person whom asked me this question was surprised by my answer. Surprised that with everything I've gone through, the values I have, my positive outlook and the way I live my life day to day are very similar to someone who would believe in Christ. Since then I have turned this question over and over many times in my head. Do I really believe in God or a higher power?
I find myself looking back on situations. Every time I needed something it has always worked out. Anytime I needed money, needed help, a sign, a path, a choice and hoped and yearned for an answer, a solution (someone religious might say pray) it has worked out. Every time I've needed something, every time something gives and I've been "blessed".
I blindingly believe in Karma, this I think is very similar to "The Golden Rule". I completely believe and put faith into Karma. What goes around comes around. Do good and good will come to you. Do bad and well...Karma's a b**ch. But Karma is also just a thought, an ideal. It's not something I can hold, something I can physically hold accountable. God is also not someone I can physically meet, see of touch. So is there a difference??
There's also my morals, values and how I carry myself that I can now see why someone would think I was religious.
I believe in "everything happens for a reason" but couldn't that be what a Christian would say is God's pre destine path he has laid out for me??
I believe in "Karma" or Christians "Golden Rule"
My children are a true blessing to me, a miracle from Jesus is how a Christian would see it.
I live my life and unknowingly follow the seven deadly sins; PRIDE, ENVY, GLUTTONY, ANGER, SLOTH, GREED, LUST. Not because of the wrath from the lord but because it's the right thing to live by.
But is there a line in the sand separating the two ways I see it or are they really the same?
This I don't know.
This is what I can't wrap my head around.

Is there really a difference in fate and faith. I'm not so sure anymore.
The last thing that throws me with this battle is if there came a time, hopefully never, where my children were in harms way or ill. You could bet I would do anything, bow down, pray to anyone for their health and well being.
But even with that there is still a lot to consider. Is there really someone watching over us, someone who just one day "created" us...everything. So much to think of.

One thing that can be said, I've never had anyone make me think of something more beyond what I already knew or believed in. Not forced me to think that way but actually challenge the way I though. Had me mulling it over in my own mind. It takes a special kind of crazy to make ME reconsider things ;)

Always true to myself~
Bree

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A Single Mom's Crazy Rantings: How do you do it?

It has now been just over 6 months since I've been an "official" single mom to my 3 crazy-lovable kiddos. Day in and day out there are obstacles, challenges, rewards and difficulty.

 

The most popular question I get is "How do you do it?"

Sadly more often than not the person asking this question is asking for advice. I find that my advice is asked most frequently by a number of woman whom are wanting to leave their husband or significant other for one reason or another.

 

It's not my job, nor is it my business, to judge another's  marriage but I am more than happy to give my advice, help, understanding, acknowledgment or encouragement.

 

So "How do I do it?"

I don't.

 

What people see:

I was a stay at home mom until a month after I asked my husband to leave. I have a part time job and live on my own with the kids. Most of all they see that I'm happy :)

Most people see what they want to see. They look at me and see a single woman making it with her 3 kids even through divorce.

 

Here's the truth:

I desperately want to be a stay at home mom for my children so I work a part time job night and weekends. I do this so during the day I'm home with them doing our normal routines. Breakfast, chores, lunch, preschool, sports/activities, dinner, etc. Half the time I leave before dinner to go to work. This means someone else reads them a bed time story, tucks them in and sends them off to sleep. I usually work until 10:30pm, pick up kids and come home. I then stay up until midnight or 1 am working (for no or little money) on my photography or the blog. Even on days I don't work I'm still up until midnight "working".

Then its up at 7:30am and we start all over again. Since the blog and photography don't pull in huge pay checks (yet) I also frequently nanny a couple other kids here and thereto make ends meet. My house is usually messy because there isn't enough time to do anything and when given an opportunity to have a minute to myself I take it instead of doing dishes.

I didn't get much help before, but when your a single mom you get NO help. Each day its you and the kids, there's no more spouse giving you a break when he's home from work. Its only you. There are mandatory breaks every other weekend and possibly a few hours once a week. That's 4 days a month I get a break and even then I try to work as much as I can because there's no childcare costs.

 

For 3 kids I get just over $600 a month, my part time job brings an average of $400. These are the only consistent incomes I can count on. The kids and I get medical and food assistance from the state, which takes the food costs out of the equation. Rent and power average to about $600 a month. Which then leaves me with $400 a month to pay for diapers, wipes, gas, preschool, childcare, toiletries, non food groceries (garbage bags, dish/laundry soap, paper towels, etc), sports/activities, clothes for the kids if needed and other bills (phone, car ins, my medical expenses, debt, etc) Does $400 a month cover these items? NO.

I pick and choose what bills I can pay each month. Or I make smaller payments when I can't afford the full payment.

Some months I don't have enough for the basics. When this happens I have been very fortunate that I'll have a photo shoot, nanny and the extra money comes in somehow.

Living like this might have been fine when your single but not when you have 3 children to support.

 

Another factor that you have to keep in mind is the constant battling over the littlest things with your ex spouse. Childcare, support, expenses, family, cars, debt, kids, jealousy, diapers, etc. You name it and there could be an argument. I choose to disengage or not argue because I hate confrontation.SO I choose to take the higher road and don't lower myself to the argument. If its pertaining to the divorce case at hand then I let the attorney handle it. If its an argument relating to personal issues I don't give it the time of day. Though its hard to not argue back and forth this has been my biggest accomplishment thus far.

 

Then there is the fact of paying for an attorney for my divorce. I don't, I have been borrowing money from family (thankfully for them). Who knows how I'll ever pay that back. SO far the average total for the attorney has been close to $4,000.00 and the divorce isn't even final yet.

 

I have come to realize I can't go much longer than like this.

For over a month now I have been either looking for a second part time job or a full time job. The only difficulties with this are to be able to afford my portion of childcare for 3 kids I have to get a full time job that pays a minimum of $11/hour after taxes. And in this economy there really aren't many options available, and if a position opens up your trying to claw your resume through the competition. This will also means that my "dream job" of being a stay at home mom for my kids is soon over. I'll drop them off at day care so someone else can raise my children then pick them up with just enough time to feed them dinner and tuck them into bed. I'll be like most other working moms where you only get to see your kids a few hours a day. I'm not wanting pity, tons of people do it, but when you have made sacrifices in your life to stay home with your children it just makes it a hard situation to swallow.

 

With today's economy, money seems to be the most important thing in peoples lives. They seem to think that if you don't have money your not happy. This usually is reflected on a marriage. Sometimes this isn't the case and there are other reasons for divorce.

Unfortunately most couples think that divorce is the answer or that the grass would be greener on the other side. This is NOT always the case. And in today's society divorce seems just as disposable as taking out the trash.

While my life is happier now I tried everything first. I believe its your duty to try everything possible before walking away. I tried to make things work, went through marriage counseling but in the end infidelity was where I drew the line. You will not always be happy in a marriage but you made a vow and I feel that you should try everything to uphold those vows.

In the end trying everything may not work or may not be for you. But making the decision to get divorced or spilt up your family isn't something that just pops into your head one day. It's something that needs to be thought about, processed and talked about before any decisions are made.

 

My life is what it is. Its a struggle everyday. But I still seem to stay positive, have a great outlook on life and believe everything happens for a reason. We'll make it somehow and I can't worry about tomorrow when I'm living today. :)

 

SO, "how do I do it?"

I don't! But I'm trying.

 

{Looking for a job ~Bree and J}

 

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New Addition

{A Single Moms Crazy Ranting's}

 

We all know Bree talks...and talks a lot she can do! Usually her ramblings are filed under "Bree's Crazy Ranting's"...until now!

(so cheesy)

With a shocking amount of women asking me "how I do it?" I have decided to dedicate a new label or column you might say on my experiences as I go through life.

Have no clue what's going on, now that I'm not talking in 3rd person any more here is a brief run down...for fun lets go back to 3rd person! LOL!
 

2004 Bree meets Boy

2007 Boy and Bree buy a house

2007 Happily welcomes Baby Boy

2008 Wedding bells ring!

2010 Happily welcome another Baby Boy (screaming)

 

2011:

Boy and Bree Short Sell their home

Move into tiny 2 bedroom apartment

Welcome Precious Baby Girl

 

2012:
March 
Boy starts sleeping on couch

April
Packing to move into new, 3 bedroom!, HOME :)

May
Boy tells Bree "I don't love you anymore" :'(

June
Moved into new home :'( start marriage counseling

 

July 2012:

Boy takes off wedding ring

Celebrate Precious Baby Girls 1st Birthday

Bree takes off wedding ring

Bree finds out about Boy's new girlfriend

Bree kicks Boy out

 

Aug 2012-Current

Divorce papers, tears, kids and I move out, attorneys, tears, court, going back to work, child support, arguing, kids to Boys every other weekend, and too much bull#*$%!

Caught up??

Feel free to follow me as I go on about my daily struggles, accomplishments, battles and more!

 

I'm not trying to do this as a means at getting back or trash talking  Boy; and have always tried to stay above the battles and be respectful.

This is meant to help those women thinking of divorce/going through it/and have been there. These are my experiences and even though every one has their own turns and bumps in the road the process is still about the same!
At the end of the day if you'd rather not read this than don't. I will never again let anyone control how I act, what I say or what I do with my life...so this is very real, very honest and very raw.

Here are a few postings that will also catch you up:
Back to my routine...I guess...
"How are you doing?"
Mondays are for Complainers
You Smell Like Taco's Mommy
My Facebook is Not Your DRAMA
and CARRY on Bree

 

 {Much LOVE ~Bree and J}

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Guns and God in School

Friday morning the word began to spread about the unthinkable horror unfolding in Connecticut. A man walked into an elementary school where he murdered 20 children, ages 6 and 7, and 6 adults.

By the time afternoon arrived many parents had rushed to pull their kids out early from school. Simply to give them hugs and take their precious babies home.

Monday came around and most parents had a hard time sending their kids to school. Just the thought that this could happen anywhere, to anyone, at anytime has hit home. It is literally unbelievable that anyone could do such a thing to children, to babies. These were someones little angels, their joy in life and so young...its heart breaking.

Of coarse it makes you think..."What can be done?" "What could we do to keep our kids safe?" School is supposed to be one of the safest places for children to go, yet school shootings happen more and more each year.

I agree that there should be something done but I do not agree with the ideas people are tossing around.
Here are the most popular, radical options you can choose from.

Bring guns into schools

or

Bring God into schools

I'm sorry but neither of these are a solution. Not even close!

Guns~
I am or was (depending on if I need to renew) a member of the NRA. I also have a concealed weapons permit. I know how to correctly operate a firearm. I treat any firearm with the deepest, up most respect. I believe in the rights to own and bare arms.
But I think it's ludicrous to think sending guns INTO school is a good idea. Not only is it a horrible idea but its almost as if your asking for another school shooting to occur!
First, I do not know one single teacher, aid, or administrator that would carry a gun at school. Think of a teacher. (usually) they are sweet, warm, good tempered, kind and helpful. Its not in a teachers nature to bring a gun into their classroom. I am not speaking for all teachers, I'm sure there are plenty that would carry a firearm at school. I'm just saying that with as many teachers that would carry a gun there would be 3x as many that would not.
Oh yes, lets ask our underpaid teachers to now add in more training and classes outside of work, as well as more expenses out of their owns pockets. Because if you want to be realistic there would need to be lots of strings attached. Each gun toting adult would need to be properly trained, and keep up on their certifications. Most likely have to attend more specialized classes. File and pay for a concealed weapons permit. Purchase a handgun. And require regular shooting practice, taking more of there non-existent spare time, in which they would then need a membership at a gun club. The list could go on.
Second, bringing guns INTO our schools is almost asking for a school shooting. But now lets give the suspect and endless amount of weapons and ammo. Walk into a new classroom, get a new gun! Genius! Come on, this will now also give that troubled student or adult the means to get a gun if they didn't have means before.
I also truly believe you would see an increase in the rate of school shootings. Most, if not all are premeditated. Could you imagine that student or adult being at school, already on the edge...something or someone setting them off, heck there's already a gun in the classroom, Furious and mad, who knows what they'd do. Crime of passion. No time for any logic to sink in or for any warning signs to alert people.
Remember I am pro guns! But this "solution" is just asking for it it to happen. You walk into a classroom and you would know where to get it and who had it. You might as well just leave it on the desk.

God~
I will just come right out and say it. I am not religious. Do I have a problem with religion or what an individual chooses to believe in? No. To each his own. I have been educated and I very knowledgeable on Christianity in fact. But do I believe bringing God into schools will stop these horrible acts of violence? NO!
I actually believe bringing any religion into schools and teaching it would make the situation a whole lot worse.
Lets force something so touchy as religion onto our children and teens and watch them rebel more. In today's society people are more free to be true to themselves and believe in what they want. Religion is no longer required or scared into you. Most people I know who were forced into religion hate it now.
I do understand the point made by someone where they would say "if you look back in the day when religion was taught in schools there were no school shootings" I see your point, but that was a very long time ago. The same point could be made with abstinence and drugs, but its no longer realistic.
What is realistic is embracing change and individuality. For example, teaching abstinence is not realistic, you adapt and teach safe sex and give logical advice to protect our teens from things. But they will inevitably make their own choices and sometimes pregnancy and disease still happen.
I also understand that someone who believes in god will not understand why someone wouldn't. For anyone religious or non religious they believe that what they know and believe in is the truth and others are wrong. So how can we even make this argument when there would be so many others to consider. God is not the only thing people have the option to believe in. Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Judaism, Spiritual, Hinduism, etc...so why we would automatically choose, especially in today's diverse world, that one specific or more swayed religion be brought into our schools.

I do have a lot of opinions but what are my answers? I'm not sure there is one clear answer. In some cases better parenting was the solution, in others putting a stop to bullying would have been the answer, mental health is a huge factor, the list could go on. In the specific shooting of Sandy Hook Elementary we may never know. But I do feel a huge effort needs to be focused on bullying in schools and getting more resources, help and aid to those whom have mental health issues.

Arguing about Guns and God are not helpful or even a solution. I understand many people want something done or want to use energy and resources into an answer but we all have to understand that there is no clear or right one. Be aware, educate yourself and your children and have a plan for any shooting scenario and love your family, friends and kids every chance you get!

Inform your kids to contact a teacher or administrator if they see bullying at school or may possibly need mental health help, tell them it's "ok to ask for help!" There are also plenty of resources online and in schools!
Resource to help stop bullying: Stopbullying.gov

Resource for mental health issues: Mentalhealth.net

A came across a blog post via Facebook that was really helpful in understanding mental health and the effects that it could very likely have on people unaffected by it. Please read and share, it's really a great article.
Thinking the Unthinkable 

Love your children everyday and always kiss them goodnight~
Tonight I will also be signing my name only, seeing as these are my personal feelings and views. Thank you all and have a good night, hopefully I didn't piss too many people off ;)~
Bree

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Farmhouse Sisters is on the MAP!!!

Thats right! We are now popular enough to get SPAM! And man let me tell you how interesting these comments are and the places they originate from. Let me share some with you...

Free Naked Girls?!?!?!?! Hmmm...how do they know we like to be naked??? LMAO!!!
"Hi I am so delighted I found your web site, I really found you by accident, while I was researching on Yahoo for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just like to say cheers for a incredible post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read much more, Please do keep up the superb b. Here is my web site - From: free naked girls on... "
Post they made this comment on "Aren't we just a bunch of Liars!"

This ones great, its spam ASKING if we get spam??? WTF???
"Hi, i гead your blog oсcasionally and i own a sіmilar one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam rеsponses? If so how ԁο you pгevent it, аny plugin or anything уou can reсommend? Ι get so much lаtеly it's driving me crazy so any help is very much appreciated.From: My page Seized Cars" 
Post the commented on The Seattle Foundation "GiveBIG" for Campfire USA

Even better, they are commenting on use going back to using cloth diapers. Hmmmm...
"It's amazing to visit this website and reading the views of all mates regarding this paragraph, while I am also eager of getting know-how. From: My web site :: The Tao of Badass" 
Post they commented on Baby's Back to Cloth Diapers

Nothing says "GiveBIG" and donate to a non profit foundation like a gambling website!
:Please let me know if you're looking for a author for your weblog. You have some really good articles and I think I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I'd love to write some material for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please blast me an e-mail if interested. Regards! From:  Here is my page :: online gambling" 
Post commented on The Seattle Foundation "GiveBIG" for Campfire USA

Have a fantabulous day~
Bree and J Pin It

Favorite Posts: Bree's

You might want to read it before you read my explanation as to why this is my favorite. You might be surprised to know why it is my favorite...
Bree's Favorite Post: Back to my routine...I guess...

It may seem odd that the post that exposes all my broken pieces to my life is my favorite but it's not my favorite for any happy reason. Not because it was a good memory, true to me, enjoyable, or a favorite thing to do on the weekend.
It's my favorite because this was the first moment I unleashed the truth, no matter who wanted to believe it or not and no matter what consequences came my way. It was what I wanted to do and the decision to post it was all MINE.
It's different to tell your close friends and family your skeletons because if they're your true friends they will always understand.
This moment was the first moment of my true independence. Looking back there were alot of things not right, alot of controlling and unhappiness. In this moment of telling literally the entire world wide web of my heart break I felt I had cut the strings and was finally able to breathe fresh clean air.
I knew by posting that or posting anything would always come with strings attached, drama caused and gossip spread but none of it bothers me anymore...really hasn't from day one. It is very sad people, even at an elevated age, that people still talk that talk but Karma always comes around and the truth always comes out.
The day I posted that was the first day to my new beginnings. My fresh start. The first day to getting back to me and who I want to be and not what someone else wanted me to be. I learn everyday new things about myself and will never let anything get in my way to being who I really am. I'm not sure when the last time I was happy in my life...I always thought i was but would have never really admitted I wasn't.
Though my road has had many bumps, tears and stress along the road I am always reminded of my right choices. I will always and never change my outlook on life:
Everything happens for a reason and always find the positive in a situation.

Enough of Bree's Blah, blah, blah....lets get back to crafts, DIY and all sorts of fun things~
(don't worry...I will always share too much...stay tuned!)~
Bree and J Pin It

Favorite Posts: Jessi's

Jessi's Favorite Blog Post:
To view the entire post follow this link: Nothing much and my latest stalker dream
Why is this her favorite?? Because its the one most true to who she is. In fact, I'm going to break her dream down by each paragraph (red text is from my point of view, lol)

Dream Paragraph #1:
I did have an amazing dream about the mother of all thrift stores. 
(she is utterly and totally obsessed she'll even hide sometimes when she goes to goodwill...like I'll think she is nuts but I get irritated cause I got left out!) It's one of my favorite recurring dreams, where all the freeways I've driven become one and brings me to what I think is the old look of the South Center Mall but in my dream we call it the Sea-Tac Mall (These are 2 very different and far from each other). (ok, now thats just pure craziness right there) And in the same parking lot (weird I know) is the "Giant Thrift Store".  There's no name on the building but you know what it is.  Warehouses full of furniture and housewares. (no name huh Jess...sounds like a underground black market for thrifts) There's even one for clothing but I usually skip looking for clothes but the stairs for the furniture department are there.

Dream Paragraph #2
In last night's version, I was actually there with the Petersiks from YHL and I was star-struck. (she has stalker tendencies with YHL (young house love) its a blog, she would seriously stampede babies to get to see these people, lmao!!!) I think they are the bees knees! (dork) We rode there on an old school bus (she has this paranoia of being late for the bus and/or missing it...dated from early childhood..something we both share in common...prob cause we ARE always late to everything), John (dude from YHL) was driving and Dave was wondering where we where going but I knew as soon as we took the exit off the freeway.  I remember being bummed that we had gotten Evie a babysitter because Sherry and John had their adorable daughter with them and the girls would have played so well together. (notice how I'M NOT included in this dream...fine have a playdate with your imaginary people, col) Dave opted to wait in the bus as he hates thrift stores and garage sales lol.

Dream Paragraph #3
I find so many amazing things when I'm "there"!  One of the good finds towards the end of the dream was an octagon leather tufted ottoman that needed some work.  They wanted $100 for it!  It was big but falling apart and I was so mad that they wanted so much for it! (good girl Jess!, that IS outrageous, I never would have paid $100 for that, though it was to die for...like I was there ;))  I actually threw it down and shouted that I was "sick of people charging so much for garbage!" and then woke up to the alarm clock.  Crazy! :)  Aren't dreams wonderful?  I would never throw furniture in real life or shout out the injustice of high priced used/broken furniture in public but it's obvious what my brain thinks of the whole thing lol. (What do I think...that you need to find that octagon leather tufted ottoman...for sure! And even better we need to find this awesome thrift store..I'm in need (not really) of some junk I don't yet know I need!)

Yet again my mind reading skills are awesome~
Bree and J

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TOP Viewed Post EVER!!

Our very first "Monday's are for complainers" installment has been our top viewed post of ALL TIME and wont be surpassed any time soon!!! We've had SO many wonderful compliments on this that it makes me feel better when I b**ch ;) Glad to know your not alone, right?!?!?!?! LMAO!

Are you out of the loop??? Well check it out!

Top viewed post of ALL TIME:

Monday's are for Complainers

Who doesn't love when we complain ;)~
Bree and J Pin It

Bitter/Sweet....

.....should be the title of my book.
So many things can be summed up into one word or two depending on how you choose to spell it. ;)
Bittersweet....Bitter Sweet...I choose to add a / and settle for both ways.
Either way it has the same meaning. You can't have the sweet without the bitter. And the bitter comes first.
Any one, any situation, any person can relate to this.

Here are some bittersweet, bitter sweet, bitter/sweet quotes, saying and definitions for you to relate to....

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bit·ter·sweet  (btr-swt)

n.

1. A woody vine of the genus Celastrus, especially the North American species C. scandens and the eastern Asian species C. orbiculata, having small, round, yellow-orange fruits that open at maturity to expose red seeds. Also calledstaff tree.

2. See bittersweet nightshade.

3. A dark to deep reddish orange.

adj.

1. Bitter and sweet at the same time: bittersweet chocolate.

2. Producing or expressing a mixture of pain and pleasure: a movie with a bittersweet ending.

3. Dark to deep reddish-orange.

---

[After its roots, which are said to taste bitter, then sweet when chewed.]

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The term "bittersweet" is applied to situations that involve mixed emotions.

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Producing or expressing a mixture of pain & pleasure: 

pleasant but tinged with sadness

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If there is meant to be a sweet I can manage through the bitter~

Bree and J

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10k and 10 Resolutins

Well me MUST be busy because neither Jessi nor I realized we are now well over 10,000 views! It's been only 6 months and I am amazed at how far Farm House Sisters has come!
With well over 10,000 views I think we should make 10 resolutions for the next 6 months!

Bree's 10 Resolutions:
1. Don't worry about what other people think SO much. Constructive criticism is great but don't make decisions based on what others will say or think.
2. Try new things. My marriage is over and I don't know what I like to do, or eat, or think by myself. I'm going to try new things, new foods and center myself back to BREE.
3. Run more...run farther...prepare for my 10k on Thanksgiving.
4. Try forgive more...but never forget.
5. Expand our variety of post content.
6. Try not to let life keep me away from posting. (i feel its almost therapeutic sometimes to post, but I haven't been so regular about my postings these days)
7. Craft more...WAY more!
8. Paint my bedroom furniture I was never "allowed" to paint. =D
9. Pass along my GREAT Karma that has recently come my way...over and over again!
10. Be less judgmental...if not at all.

Jessi's 10 Resolutions:
1. Lose some weight, go from large to medium.
2. Get this blog rockin' and rollin'! :)
3. Make all my Christmas gifts by hand.
4. Spend less time online and more time with the kids.
5. Holding out for what I know I want instead of settling for "good enough".
6. Going outside! Even in the rain. :)
7. Supporting our local business downtown and volunteer in my community.
8. Growing my Camp Fire family!
9. Getting some me time, every week.
10. Be a Force to be Reckoned with!

The last 6 months of this blog has already been such a journey for us!  We are already changed women with changed families and goals.  Thank you for your support and for reading our crazy adventures.  We have a lot of fun hanging out on this blog.  We couldn't do it without you!!!

Hugs and Kisses!!!
Bree and Jessi

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Nothing much and my latest stalker dream

I keep thinking it's Wednesday because Monday was a holiday and I had it "off"!  Oy Vey.  Getting the new routine has been a little bumpy :(.  Isn't that always the way?  So far we've had a successful week, getting to the bus on time and such.  I forgot my laptop at my brother's place so I'm having trouble getting the pictures from my camera on to my borrowed computer. 

So really, not too much going on around here.

I did have an amazing dream about the mother of all thrift stores.  It's one of my favorite recurring dreams, where all the freeways I've driven become one and brings me to what I think is the old look of the South Center Mall but in my dream we call it the Sea-Tac Mall (These are 2 very different and far from each other). And in the same parking lot (weird I know) is the "Giant Thrift Store".  There's no name on the building but you know what it is.  Warehouses full of furniture and housewares.  There's even one for clothing but I usually skip looking for clothes but the stairs for the furniture department are there.  

In last night's version, I was actually there with the Petersiks from YHL and I was star-struck.  I think they are the bees knees!  We rode there on an old school bus, John was driving and Dave was wondering where we where going but I knew as soon as we took the exit off the freeway.  I remember being bummed that we had gotten Evie a babysitter because Sherry and John had their adorable daughter with them and the girls would have played so well together.  Dave opted to wait in the bus as he hates thrift stores and garage sales lol.  

I find so many amazing things when I'm "there"!  One of the good finds towards the end of the dream was an octagon leather tufted ottoman that needed some work.  They wanted $100 for it!  It was big but falling apart and I was so mad that they wanted so much for it!  I actually threw it down and shouted that I was "sick of people charging so much for garbage!" and then woke up to the alarm clock.  Crazy! :)  Aren't dreams wonderful?  I would never throw furniture in real life or shout out the injustice of high priced used/broken furniture in public but it's obvious what my brain thinks of the whole thing lol.

Like this except octagon shaped. Pinterest

Bus fumes and outrageous prices,
Jessi and B

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Back to my routine...I guess...

Here at Farm House Sisters you may have noticed a few comments here or there about "life lessons" or "going through alot"...we all know what that means but it can mean many different things. I apologize for being vague or not going into further detail but at the time then I wasn't comfortable sharing to EVERYONE what my life was turning out to be.

Even though there are many feelings involved,  for my children's sake I will be as respectable as possible in hopes that IF in deed someday they read this I will have no regrets as to what I'm about to share.

Monday, July 30 I had a Dr appt where I found out I will have to get a biopsy done on my uterine lining. No one knows what is really going on...things don't make sense yet to the Dr's but we're hoping to rule out some scary things. :( You think that would be enough for a woman...no :( That's not what I'll be talking about though.

A few hours later that same day I had a very heartbreaking conversation with my husband of almost 4 years. He is the father to our 3 beautiful children.

I learned what every spouse never wants to hear... he has a "friend", whom is a female, whom is more than just a co-worker. I rather not go into further detail but I'm pretty sure that explains it all. After many months things do now add up. I always heard that you look back and "know" but who really wants to believe any of it.
We have had our fair share of problems, more recently then ever in our relationship and mostly blindsiding me. We both have gone through counseling, together and separately leading up to this but we will no longer go for couples counseling. I asked him to move out, will be filing for legal separation and divorce...and that will be the end of our fairy tale.

The one thing I just don't understand....why don't people leave before they decide to do something so hurtful and distrustful to someone they once loved. Do they not understand the ripples they will make in that persons life for the rest of their life. It's not something temporary that you forget. Yes, you do move on after while but can you ever trust anyone else? When a wedding vow is made you are normally trusting your whole entire self to that other person. I just can't wrap my head around it...and probably never will.

I am a stay at home mom to 3 beautiful children...well was a stay at home mom. My oldest is almost 5, then 2 1/2 and just turned 1. My life has been made EXTREMELY DIFFICULT and I am scared as hell to see if I'll really be able to rise to it. I will for my children but the unknown is worse than the actual shock and hurt of it all. I have to buy another car, rent another place...all without a job, without credit, without a work history... I've been a stay at home mom for 4 years... I have to find a job that still gives me that blessing. For me the ripple is more like a HUGE wave that I'm not sure I can swim through. 

The good side of things... I have THE best friends in the world! Katie, Jessi, Christa, Jeana...you ladies have been the only positive to each and every day. I know all you ladies have lives but your simple text or calls really changes my day and is amazing at how perfect the timing of it can be sometimes. You may not know how much your helping me and you may never know but I do know that Karma's a BITCH and for you I owe you ALOT of positive good karma. You make me laugh when I want to cry, go running over and over and over lately with me even though you probably want to die, take my crazy kids...listen to my ramblings! You are the best sister wives I could ever have :0 LMAO! Make sure to tell your husbands that I greatly appreciate them letting you spend extra time with me...I know sometimes it's nice to have family time but you have all included me into yours or pass it up to be with me. THANK YOU!!!

I think that's all I can handle right now before I say something stupid ;) 

I know some of you think I share too much, especially on the blog but if you know me I'm not a real personal person... I probably give too much TMI at times and I feel I want to be honest with out readers and my friends and hope that anything I post that has a personal message is helpful to another and never hurtful. And in the end they are my mistakes that I feel I can live with. Thank you for understanding. :)

Love your loved ones, cherish what you DO have and not what you DON'T~

Bree and J

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You know who you are.

I could always use a pick me up but thought maybe you could too!

From Here.

Hugs~

Bree

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Fall TV Shows to watch out for!

As I scheduled my "back to school" clothes shopping trip this year I also began wondering about what the fall line up on tv will have in store for us! Of coarse I'll be watching my normal shows...Vampire Diaries, Modern Family, The Office, Parenthood, Grey's, etc. But I realized I will NOT be watching my Desperate Housewives this fall. :( What will replace it??? ABC's show "Revenge". Since this show aired last season I now feel I need to catch up. Which I probably will on Hulu or you can visit ABC.com's website to view full episodes. Here is the quick link straight to ABC's Revenge page. 

In case your worried about missing your favorite shows check out TV Guides Fall Preview and Schedule for more info on any time or day changes!

Here is whats new to come this fall...I wonder if any will be good!! (NBC sure has a larger line up)

Fox:
Ben and Kate
The Mindy Project
The Mob Doctor

ABC:
666 Park Avenue
The Neighbors
Nashville

CBS:
Partners
Vegas
Elementary
Made in Jersey

The CW:
Beauty and The Beast
Arrow
Emily Owens, M.D.

NBC:
Revolution
The New Normal
Go On
Animal Practice
Guys with Kids
Chicago Fire

Previews will be out SOON...start making your "TO WATCH" lists~
Bree and J

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Who IS Bree??? An interview!

Farm House Sisters is run by two ladies:
Jessi and Bree

Jessi does more of the technical side, your looking at the blog...your looking at her web design, she keeps it running and cleans it up, adds new info, sponsors, buttons, adds, etc. She is also working on our ".com" page, yes WE ladies OWN FarmHouseSisters.com!! You'll see her post here and there but she stays busy enough with running the joint for all to view!

Bree posts what you read...basically she talks, complains and rambles alot! LOL! She comes up with and writes the posts for everyday. She's the main "photographer" for the page and if she doesn't know squat about something, she researches it for you! She's a glorified blabber mouth...well so is Jessi too! LMAO! Yes, Bree is writing this right now! LOL!





So lets take some time to get to know who Bree is...interview style. I have collected questions from people and made up my own (lol) Lets get started!

Ice Breaker:
Q: For people reading the blog what do you think they would NOT like?
A: OH GOD! That's easy,  my spelling and GRAMMAR issues!
Q: Is it a problem? Why?
A: I post really fast and my computer has some sticky or missing keys (thanks kids) so I really try hard to proof read and edit but if the photos are giving me grief I get frustrated and sometimes call it good, even though I DID spell check,  my grammar can be a problem sometimes. Jessi gave me a pointer from her dad, "read it out loud" so now I look like a FOOL reading out loud to myself but I hope it's helping! I know it can bother people! Oh ya... remember.... I have given all my brain cells to my 3 kids! My brain is TOAST!

Q: How often do you post on the blog?
A: I (we) try to post twice a day. But at least once! If we don't somethings up or we are taking the day off but we normally will post something to say the least. We also don't post on the weekends either. :)
Q: How in the world do you find time with 3 kids, a  household, husband and yourself to post twice a day?
A: LOL. WELL....my kids go to bed at 7:30 so by 8 I can guarantee that mostly everyone is asleep. That's when I post. Takes me normally (if I was prepared and knew what I was posting) between 1 and 2 hours depending on photo editing (newly added) and content editing. Then I schedule it to post automatically the next morning by 6:30am. Usually if I'm good I can schedule a few days ahead so if I need a break I can take one whenever. I would feel horribly guilty if I took any time away from my kiddos or family...so I just take it away from myself! BAAAhahahahaha!!! I crack myself up!

Q: What is YOUR pet peeve?
A: People.
Q: LOL....WHAT???
A: HA! Thought you'd need more clarification! People who don't use there turn signals, are hurtfully judgmental or just judgmental for no damn reason...just to complain! Oh and complainers. Sound like I'm being judgmental?? LOL. Ummm. lets see...stray glue gun strings, how the dishwasher is loaded (but if someone loads  it for me I would NEVER complain, lol) Whining, tatel telling, and when my phone freezes or dies! I always have phone issues! GRRRR! I think that's about it...Hmmm....kinda sounded like a judgmental complainer just then...I'm my own pet peeve! LOL!

Q: What would you say your friends pet peeves are about YOU?
A: You mean what would people say is annoying that I do??
Q: Yes.
A: Oh man...ready! I am late and were talking ALWAYS late! I just now started telling them "ok meet you at 9?" "Ok great, I'll be late" LOL. At least I'm honest and you can also count on it! LOL. I use "....." and "LOL" a lot. When texting or posting, I also use "CAPITAL LETTERS TO MAKE A LARGER EXPRESSION" a lot. I can be scatter brained at times and always forget everything....even what I was going to say like a second ago. Wait what were we saying??? JOKING! My spelling and grammar, lol. And....I used to be kinda flaky but that changed very recently.
Q: What do you mean by kinda flaky?
A: Well, not that I wanted to be flaky but up until about 3 months ago if I was going to hang out with friends or have a girls night out I would sometimes (ok truth)...I would usually cancel. But not anymore...I swear! Unless something is really up. LOL.
Q: So, why would you cancel up until 3 months ago? I'm confused?
A: Its difficult to say, but when you have 3 kids sometimes its difficult to find childcare to watch them and even when you do it still falls through. Not that I wanted to cancel my plans, it just always kinda happened.

Q: How do your family and friends feel about your blog and it's content?
A: Ugh. Thats a difficult question. It is kind of welcomed by some and loved by others! I think you will always have skeptics and the people close to you sometimes are the most negative unfortunately.
Q: How so?
A: I really think its hard for them to see the purpose in all this. Some think it's a waste of time or that I'm taking time away from my family or "duties" as a mom. And until you describe it all no one would understand, and even after you describe it they still don't understand. It's those times that it gets difficult and sometimes maddening.
Q: So what is the purpose in all this?
A: The purpose. Well, that seems to really change and grow as we continue this journey. Originally it was something that would be fun, share info and ya if we made some money that would be awesome! But now its reaching larger goals. We both want this to support or at least supplement our incomes and eventually have a thriving successful business!
Q: From a blog? How's that happen?
A: We have a blog, we post enough and enough "see worthy" information and people will want to "see" our page. These people re visit the page to see whats new everyday and even share our page. Then we get enough viewers that a business wants to advertise on our page. We sell ad space to these businesses and make money. It's like radio or tv, we get sponsors that pay us to put there link and advertorial on our page.
Q: Huh, who knew? So where are you ladies at on your journey?
A: We are at the point where we are ready to start selling ad space but need to sit down and work out the #'s and details, offers/specials, etc. We need to get working on it cause we have a few people interested.
Q: Wow, so you can really make some money from this???
A: LOL, yes. Crazy enough, average ad space for a good running/viewed blog is $200 a month. Most of those blogs have at least 10 ads or more per page. You do the math.

Q: So we still haven't asked, who is Bree? Explain yourself a little for us.
A: Ok...you better sit down this could take long. LOL. My parents divorced shortly after I was born, my dad was really never around. I saw him at more his convenience and when I was about 12 he told me that I was old enough to decide when I wanted to see him. I didn't see much of him after that. I had a step dad around but gone alot for most of my life but last year him and my mom divorced as well. I grew up in Renton/Kent until middle school age then moved to Enumclaw where I live now with my husband and our 3 kids. I was mostly friends with boys in high school cause girls cause too much drama! But am now very fortunate to have some wonderfully AMAZING girl friends around me! I feel lucky! I have been a dental assistant, personal trainer, nanny, barista, retail manager, horse stall cleaner, bank teller and my favorite...stay at home mommy! I love my kids more than anything in the world and stay up at night worrying about every aspect of their life...yup...I'm your typically loving mom. My mind DOES NOT stop! And I'm always doing something! I do enjoy a glass of wine, white not red. And I hate mushrooms. I have a shoe fetish that I have tamed over the years but has been released since I had my daughter. I'm frugal and grocery shop at costco. Ebay, goodwill, and anywhere that has a coupon AND a good sale is where I will be shopping for anything. Oh and yes you can always find me at the craft store when I'm bored. I am a mommy of 3, 2 boys and a girl. Almost 5, 2 1/2 and just turned a year. And you got that I talk alot right?? LOL! Yup, that's me in a nutshell I think.

Q: Any advice for moms?
A: Make sure to breathe, have lots of mommy friends to relate, complain and chit chat with AND most important.....do not have a sneezing fit or cough too much unless you have gone potty first. You and your pants will not get the good end of that deal.
Q: Any advice on marriage?
A: Make sure to also take time for yourself. People, couples will do "date nights" but I think they forget to also do stuff on there own as well!

Q: Whats the most difficult thing about being a mom to 3?
A: Everything. LOL.
Q: And the most difficult thing about marriage?
A: Everything. LOL.
Q: But you love being a stay at home mom?
A: LOL, YES!!! Sorry, I just don't think anyone would think that being a mom or a wife is easy. It is work 247, and not cut out for some. There is no one thing I could give for whats difficult or whats my best advice. Well my best advice would be to keep trying. With your kids, marriage, life, everything. People are always adapting and changing and I think life, having a family, is alot of work and people give up too easily. Before I was even married and had kids I promised myself I would do everything in my power to have a happy healthy family and if I were to have children I promised myself that I would try everything before I ended my marriage. Counselling being basically the last resort.
Q: I agree. But why is that?
A: Mostly because I was a child of divorce, then recently I have seen my sisters go through divorce and it's never pretty. People are SO selfish and it seems the children always get lost. I knew at an early age that I NEVER wanted my children to go through that and before it came to that I personally would try everything in my power to keep them from going through that. And secondly people give up way to easily these days. Makes me sad....especially if there are children involved.

Q: Ok, to lighten the mood before we say goodbye and are done. What is one of your most memorable moments on Farm Hosue Sisters?
A: Oh man there are SO many to choose from. The one that comes to mind right away is when Jessi and I were having a garage sale. We were up until midnight Thursday night preparing our stuff...well took the longest cause we also had to prepare everyone elses junk. LOL. We went to put out signs for the next day. As we are across the road from each other...at midnight...I yell..."watch out for drunk drivers!" as a joke, there were barely any cars on the road.. All Jessi hears is "DRUNK DRIVER!" right as a car (again at midnight) swerved with no blinker into the turn lane headed straight for her. She is freaking out and try's to stand behind the tiny crosswalk sign pole...when there is a massive heavy duty light pole right behind her she could stand behind. OMG. She realized the driver was not drunk as I'm almost peeing my pants laughing at here weird behavior! She finally crossed the street where we sorted things out and both of us were cracking up! I'm laughing now just thinking about it! HAhahahahaaa!


Thanks for the questions ladies, sorry had to slim it down to do how long I DIDN'T want post to be, LOL~
Bree and J

Jessi's interview to come!! Pin It

Pregnancy After Tubal...

Gentleman BEWARE!!! MAJOR girly, womanly area conversation up ahead!!! TMI!! Take the detour!

{Always LOVE the thin pink paper dresses}

I went into the OBGYN's yesterday for my mystery female problem. (If you need some catching up refer to my Google Search Scared post). This office came HIGHLY recommended and as I pulled up I was very impressed with the nice new building that stood before me! Very new and architecturally pleasing to the eye!

Though I must tell you, when you walk through Suite 200's door you are magically transported into ........

(turn the horror music on) 

 {Everything was gold!!.....the cheesy traditional 90's gold}

{Gold Framed OLD century photo, overly worn (BUT COZY) leather furniture, and many dusty quilts}

{color theme inspiration: gold, gold, gold and more gold, teal and "mauve-a-licious"}

It was just such an odd match from outside to inside.....I'll just be nice and say not MY taste buuut I won't judge...unless my appt is bad. BAhhahaha!

After discussing my issue I am asked to disrobe (difficult when you stupidly wore a dress) and give a urine sample. I do as I'm told and as I begin to go potty I realize I'm not going in the cup. WTF Bree! I did this once before when I was massive pregnant and the nurses chalked it up to being rather funny and blaming it on my preggo brain. I doubt they will think it cute THIS time. After pushing on my bladder, jumping up and down and running the water I was able to produce a small amount. An embarrassingly small amount!
If you can't figure out why yet, (most likely) they wanted a pee sample to check if I'm pregnant...Uhhhh YA! UHHHH I f*%#ing hope not! Ekk!!! I have 3 beautiful children and love them dearly but want NO MORE! LOL! That's why I got "fixed"! 
So what's the risk of pregnancy after tubals??

Via WebMd.com
Tubal Ligation and Tubal Implants are NOT 100% effective at preventing pregnancy.

• There is a slight risk of becoming pregnant after tubal ligation. This happens to about 5 out of 1,000 women after 1 year. After a total of 5 years following tubal ligation, about 13 out of 1,000 women will have become pregnant.

Pregnancy may occur if:

• The tubes grow back together or a new passage forms (recanalization) that allows an egg to be fertilized by sperm. Your doctor can discuss which method of ligation is more effective preventing tubes from growing back together.
• The surgery was not done correctly.
• You were pregnant at the time of surgery.

So my rates of being knocked up and that being the cause of all my issues....5 out of 1,000. I DON'T like those odds! For me when I got "fixed" I was thinking/hoping the odds were like...NEVER!

My appt comes toward the end and (I knew I wasn't, LOL) but NOT PREGNANT! But then I am informed of what comes next. Theres a few things Dr can't really explains he finds and "your going to need to take some extra hormones, blood work, and in 2 weeks get a specialized ultrasound for a better look." (hope my insurance covers THAT one, YIKES) Oh YES, and you can't forget the pamphlet on "Abnormal Uterine Bleeding" fun, fun! LOL! There must be a pamphlet for EVERYTHING I swear! At least he didn't just give me that and say read this and we'll just see how next month goes. I left with no answers but a plan and I feel he's taking my concerns seriously. So ya, your office decor is awful but your a great Dr so far! LOL. Onto the hormones..."SUPER"!

Watch OUT Bree's on EXTRA hormones for a week~

Bree and J


P.S. This post was for all of those people who thought I was pregnant even though I reassured everyone I wasn't over and over! Bahahahahahaaaa! Sorry but i thought it was hilarious!! Bree so funny!!!

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