Friday, May 4, 2012

Sisterly Conversation...

"What age should your children not see you naked anymore?"

I know there are ALOT of variables....
Genders, Beliefs, How you were raised, number of kids, etc....
We asked this question on facebook and below are the responses we received.

Personally I feel that the age cut off should be between 4 and 5...depending on child/gender. I have 2 boys, 4 1/2 & 2, and a baby girl, 10 months. My oldest son at the age of 4 seemed very intersted in what was what on our bodies. It was then that i started to tell him that mommy needed her privacy while changing because I was a girl and he was a boy. He will still barge in and I try not to make a HUGE fuss about it because I feel it will just draw more atttention to it and he'll want to look even more. When I get in the shower i fore warn him so he wont barge in...we only have one bathroom so if he needs to go potty before I get in I give him that chance. The only thing that gets int he way is I have more children besides just him. So if I changing or "indecent" in some way and immediate attention calls to me I run out to where I'm needed sometimes half naked with him right there. In this aspect it can be very difficult to keep our "privacy".
My husband on the other hand will still take the boys into the shower with him if needed but with them being all boys we dont see this as much of problem as the opposite gender. Will will probably stop this by the age of 5. Bradley can basically take a shower by himself now with minimal help with soap, by the age of 5 he should be pretty self sufficuiant in the shower. 
We also have started to tell the boy's what private areas are called. Calling the area where underwear covers your "privacy's" while using the correct termonlogy for the specifics. This has been quiet  interesting. Bradley will use the word penis on a daily basis...."I almost hit my PEEEENIS!" or "mommy Braeden is playing with his penis...eeeeww" I try my hardest to dont fuss or make a big deal over the free use of the word throughout the matter HOW EMBARRASSING but for my boys if I make a big deal about something the more they want to do it/say it! The WORST one was when I had to not laugh my butt off when Bradley began making up a song including the word vagina but switching the V for an F..."FFFFFFAgiiiiiiina FFFFFFAgiiiiiiina...." It's in these moments that all I can do is hold it together and laugh behind closed doors!
We have also dicussed with Bradley that we don't show, look or touch anyone elses "privacy's" which has not been a problem but I'm sure it will come up so we are hoping to be ahead of THAT one! ANd hopfully we wont get any angry mommy or DADDY's coming to our door step cause Bradley decided to flash their little girl. IT HAPPENS!

I would say probably school age for the opposite sex. Evie will be 5 in July. She doesn't really see my husband naked now. At least not on purpose lol. I'm ok with her seeing me forever.
We are a underwear and t shirt around the house in the morning kind of family. Our curtains are closed don't worry lol. But for girls seeing girls and boys seeing boys I don't feel it's a big deal...I mean don't be STARING or anything! I've seen most of the girls in my family naked.
We would never be naked around other people or their kids though either....don't want you to think we are hosting a nudist colony or something! Yaaa....everyone come on over! LOL!  We are a family of three, just Evie. When Jack and Ally first started coming over, Jack was still in diapers so the girls were interested in seeing him during changes.  I let them see a little until they got too giggly and then had to explain needing privacy in the bathroom.  Mostly they give each  private time in the bathroom.  If they are all in there, they usually are getting in trouble.  We call the private areas "Privates".  We talk about how swimsuits cover your "privates" and nobody should be looking or touching those places. Also, we say "boobies" instead of breasts.

Other answers from other mom's:

I am a mom of four, 3 boys and 1 girl. I do believe once they turn 3 or 4 it is time for privacy. When you teach them how to wash themselves and you notice them looking at you and noticing a difference. That's when they leave the "baby stage" and grow to be toddlers. I don't think a toddler should see their parents naked anymore.

About 2 years old. Once they start being overly interested we stop. Once they are past the baby stage and start asking questions we answer them with age acceptable answers and cover up. We have 4 kids 6, 4, 2 and 10 months. 3 boys and one girl.

Well depends boys with moms I say 3 or 4 boys with dads 7 or 8. Girls with moms well mine still see me they barge right in and girls with dads I think our girls where around 5 but I would say again 3 or 4.

Mine for my son Zach it was about 4 because he started staring at me weird. Naomi was 4 also cuz she started staring lol I actually don't even let them see me in my undies anymore either. I figure if they are noticing different parts its time ti cover up so if I'm private about my body they will treat theirs the same :)  Kids are now 7 &5.

My girls are 5 1/2 & 3 1/2.Since I have both girls, they can see me naked whenever, doesn't matter how old they are (vise versa for boys). As for the girls with their dad, he is modest. Once they started noticing parts is when he kept private when dressing, showering, etc. When they were a lot younger he would cover himself as well when they looked. That is what he felt most comfortable with. We teach the girls to be modest. In the world we live in today we feel it is better to teach modesty. With the same sex (child to parent) it is important for the child to learn about themselves. They are curious, that is completely normal. My girls ask my why my breasts are big and theirs are small. I tell them when a mommy has children that God will put milk in them for the babies so that they can eat. My daughters also believe that God puts the baby into mommies to grow. When baby is done growing God takes baby out and gives it to mommy and daddy.

I would say around 4 or 5 for boys. But by 4 my boys never saw me nude from the waist down. They do still see me in underwear and a tshirt (we all sleep that way so it's nothing different). Kailey will probably be around the same age for seeing me completely naked. None of my children see my husband naked. Although James has watched him pee standing up so he can learn how to be a big boy. Hope this helps!

Around 5ish I started telling Rylan I needed privacy when I was in the shower and whatnot. He's almost 7 now and won't stare or anything but we don't make a huge fuss either. He understands the need for privacy and wants privacy himself too. But I'm really pretty relaxed about it. I mean, there are times I have to change or shower and I have kids all over the place that need supervision so it is what it is. The twins still shower with me occasionally (they're 2.5)I never cover up when breast feeding either. The kids know what I'm doing and I don't see any problem with them knowing about it. I only cover up if they have friends over.

Some.....interesting moments for a laugh:

Bradley-"where does my pee come from...what does it dome out of?"
Me-"...that would be called...your penis..."
Bradley-"a (teeheehee) PEE- NAS....(teeheehee) thats a silly word...Pee comes out of my penis! Pee comes out of my penis!"

While in the shower with their daddy (i heard this all while rolling on the floor with laughter)
Braeden-"whats that?" 
Bradley-" that POOP?"
Brock-" testicles...."
Braeden-"Tesicows?" (teeeheheehhe)
Bradley-" NO Braeden...TEST-STIC-CALS Braeden....say it with me....Test...Tic....Cals...."

And the WORST one of all...right before Bradley was 4 and we knew it was "time"
Bradley walked in while I was going potty
Bradley-"Mommy...why do you have a butt privacy?"
........HOW do you answer THAT one????........
Once Evie asked her Dad if she could watch him pee because she wanted to see the "dirty bubbles". She doesn't get to be in the bathroom with him anymore lol.

From Tara:
When your daughter tells your husband in the shower "ooooo dad, I like your tail" and gives it a tap....that would be age 3....true story!

From Patti:
When you boobs have gone south with your face and ankles are swollen... etc...

Hope this answers some your"privacy's" questions~
Bree and J
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